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Cooked in the Cook Islands

The Misadventures of a Comedy Writers first trip alone to the far reaches of the South Pacific

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

I Hate Rats

Well the trip started off a bit rocky, what with finding the dead rat in my new runners - thank you cat for the going away present. The trip was long - but uneventful. I managed to clear American Immigration in record time.

“Good morning, sir.”
“Not really. I found a dead rat in my runners this morning.”
“I hate rats!”
“Me too.”
“Go right ahead, sir.”

He didn’t even ask me where I was going or for how long, or what I do. The fact that I was a fellow member of the “I Hate Rats Club” was enough.

After 14 hours I arrived at Rarotonga. George Pitt’s sister (George is the media king in Rarotonga who I wrote was coming) who runs the “motel” met me. We stopped for a beer or two at the Fisherman's Club on the way back to the motel. The motel looked better at night after a few beers than it did this morning. First of all it's right on the highway so I get all the moped noise all night long, and it seems to be in the middle of a herd of wild roosters who don't seem to know or care when dawn is.

The bathroom's interesting - no mirrors. In fact no mirrors anywhere. I also haven't seen George or his sister since the sun came up. Makes me a bit nervous. I'm going to the market to buy a lot of garlic!!

I spent the morning in the little main town. Started to walk in and someone gave me a lift. People here are very friendly. I had to go to the Police station to get a local driver's license. They tell me that in all the years they’ve been giving road tests only one guy has failed. Don’t want to be number two so I passed on the Moped for now and got a car. Steering wheel is on the wrong side. Probably going to find a few more surprises about driving here.

I'm going to spend the rest of the day looking for more suitable accommodation.

I've booked four days at Aitataki (the other island). While I was booking there was a cancellation and I've "lucked into" a whole house right on the beach! I can’t wait to see it!! It was more than I wanted to spend, but what the heck I deserve three days of luxury! Hopefully it will have mirrors. (I wonder if I still have shaving cream on my face - people have been looking at me rather strangely).

Contrary to my friend Dave Billman’s predictions they haven't dragged out the big black pot yet.

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Why The Cook Islands? Why Me?

I never really intended to take this trip. I got cornered into it. Just like I managed to actually paint myself into a corner when I was about 13 (painting the patio at my folks home).

My daughter works for a Canadian Airline: Westjet – a great airline. One of the perks of having a child work for an airline is that the parents have travel privileges - not only on Westjet but on certain “sister” airlines. The downside is that you have to travel standby. Other people’s luggage has more priority than you do.

I happened to mention to my friends and co-workers about my good fortune. The conversations usually went:

“So I could travel almost anywhere for next to nothing.”

“So why don’t you?”

“I could if I wanted to.”

“So why don’t you?”

and so on. This worked until two years until my daughter mentioned she might not always be working for the airline, and if I was planning to ever use the privileges I’d better get on with it.

Suddenly, the corner I was painting myself into got smaller. Any excuse I found for not going was quickly dismissed.

“I’m needed at work.”

“We can work without you. It will be quicker and quieter without you around.”

“What if I get trapped and can’t get home?”

“We’ll take up a collection.”

Finally I gave in. I was thinking of going to Hawaii on Aloha airlines, and checking their Website I saw they also went to the Cook Islands. That sounded a lot more exotic than Hawaii. Besides, I’d always wanted to go the South Sea Islands.

However the thought of traveling alone, and knowing not a soul where I would be going was truly terrifying. I’m sure I’d be like Mr. Bean on Vacation: All by myself on the beach muttering incoherently to myself.

Then I had a great idea. I work in TV. I noticed on the Cook Island Web Site that there was a TV station on Rarotonga. I emailed the station saying that I work in TV and would love to see how they produce television in the Cook Islands. I was thrilled when I got an email a few hours later from George Pitt who not only owned the TV station in Rarotonga but the one radio and newspaper as well. He’d be thrilled to meet me. Not only that he had a new motel that he’d give me a special rate for.

I always wanted to go deep-sea fishing, so I tried to book a trip online. The fishing charter company I chose answered. The woman, Sharon, was from Squamish, B.C. just up the road as it were from where I live in Richmond, B.C.. Her husband and her didn’t own the boat anymore, but would arrange a charter for me and even have me over for dinner! At this point things were looking up.

It was going to be a great trip. So suddenly from not knowing a soul, I had two new friends, a fishing trip, a dinner invitation and a cheap place to stay. What could possibly go wrong?