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Cooked in the Cook Islands

The Misadventures of a Comedy Writers first trip alone to the far reaches of the South Pacific

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

I am King in a Land of Mopeds!

Well things are looking up. Despite what my friends have suggested about not driving here, I have rented a spiffy Suzuki Sprint. I am a king in a land of mopeds! The entire Island now knows me from the moment I step into the passenger seat of my chariot and look for steering wheel (It's on the left). I manage a face saving recovery by muttering about my driver not showing up and disgustedly getting out of the car and walking around to the side with the steering wheel. Watch carefully check over the wrong shoulder, signal my entrance to traffic by turning on my windshield wipers (they are on the wrong side of the steering wheel) and launch out into traffic in 4th gear (the gears are reversed here – and you have to use your left hand to shift). It’s got now that mopeds swerve out of the way when they see my windshield wipers go on. I'll have Whole Island trained before I return home.

I thought the island seemed rather big, and was impressed that they had two airports here, until I realized I had traversed the island twice!

Last night I couldn't find a restaurant open so I stopped at a fried chicken place. I now found out what happens to chickens that stray on the road. Let's say the chicken got his revenge later that night and leave it at that.

Yesterday I also went back to the Fisherman's club for a beer (honestly just one, Steve, well ... maybe 2). An older lady came over and began talking to me. After 20 minutes it turned out that she was the Canadian Lady I had emailed about a fishing charter. She's arranging something for me on Friday and her and her husband Eldin (who looks like his name sounds) are inviting me for dinner Saturday - for a feast of Fanny Bay Oysters he just brought back from Vancouver Island. Better keep the Imodium out for that too!! Is there an "r" in November?"

I have now moved out of the Rooster Palace. I am on another side of the island at a place called the Daydreamer. Things have definitely improved! It's very upscale (comparatively) and my host is a Kiwi named Bruce who likes to drink Beer and talk and talk and talk.....

Tomorrow I am going fishing on a charter (weather permitting) and on Saturday I'm suppose to go fishing with a mate of Bruce’s (see I'm learning language). I'm supposed to bring a swat of beer and help with the petrol - whatever that is. By the way did I tell you my car has a bonnet and a boot and a three-legged hamster for an engine?

Well that's the highlights from the Cook Islands. I've got to go now and see if I can remember where I parked my car.

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Why The Cook Islands? Why Me?

I never really intended to take this trip. I got cornered into it. Just like I managed to actually paint myself into a corner when I was about 13 (painting the patio at my folks home).

My daughter works for a Canadian Airline: Westjet – a great airline. One of the perks of having a child work for an airline is that the parents have travel privileges - not only on Westjet but on certain “sister” airlines. The downside is that you have to travel standby. Other people’s luggage has more priority than you do.

I happened to mention to my friends and co-workers about my good fortune. The conversations usually went:

“So I could travel almost anywhere for next to nothing.”

“So why don’t you?”

“I could if I wanted to.”

“So why don’t you?”

and so on. This worked until two years until my daughter mentioned she might not always be working for the airline, and if I was planning to ever use the privileges I’d better get on with it.

Suddenly, the corner I was painting myself into got smaller. Any excuse I found for not going was quickly dismissed.

“I’m needed at work.”

“We can work without you. It will be quicker and quieter without you around.”

“What if I get trapped and can’t get home?”

“We’ll take up a collection.”

Finally I gave in. I was thinking of going to Hawaii on Aloha airlines, and checking their Website I saw they also went to the Cook Islands. That sounded a lot more exotic than Hawaii. Besides, I’d always wanted to go the South Sea Islands.

However the thought of traveling alone, and knowing not a soul where I would be going was truly terrifying. I’m sure I’d be like Mr. Bean on Vacation: All by myself on the beach muttering incoherently to myself.

Then I had a great idea. I work in TV. I noticed on the Cook Island Web Site that there was a TV station on Rarotonga. I emailed the station saying that I work in TV and would love to see how they produce television in the Cook Islands. I was thrilled when I got an email a few hours later from George Pitt who not only owned the TV station in Rarotonga but the one radio and newspaper as well. He’d be thrilled to meet me. Not only that he had a new motel that he’d give me a special rate for.

I always wanted to go deep-sea fishing, so I tried to book a trip online. The fishing charter company I chose answered. The woman, Sharon, was from Squamish, B.C. just up the road as it were from where I live in Richmond, B.C.. Her husband and her didn’t own the boat anymore, but would arrange a charter for me and even have me over for dinner! At this point things were looking up.

It was going to be a great trip. So suddenly from not knowing a soul, I had two new friends, a fishing trip, a dinner invitation and a cheap place to stay. What could possibly go wrong?