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Cooked in the Cook Islands

The Misadventures of a Comedy Writers first trip alone to the far reaches of the South Pacific

Friday, December 29, 2006

The Governor General and Me!

Good News! I heard the Aloha plane come in last night.
Depending on whom I want to believe, the plane is either totally full or totally empty. Guess I won't know till I get to the airport around 11:00pm tonight. It’s going to be really iffy about getting all the way through to Vancouver - what with it being American Thanksgiving and all!

On Saturday I woke up to the strains of Island music. Music I use to find novel and refreshing was now beginning to sound like Sonny and Cher's "I've Got You, Babe" in Groundhog Day.
And just when you think it can't get worse, the Island’s one ATM machine is down. Trapped on a tropical Island with no ATM! Am I going to be forced to forage for food? The neighbour’s goat is beginning to look good!
Today, for the last time, I decided to walk into town and see what was doing (again carefully avoiding the Avis Lot). I went to the area they have the weekend town fair, and there was a special event happening. Evidentially New Zealand's Governor General was paying a trip to the Islands and all of the who's who in Rarotonga showed up. I don't want to say security was lax, but there was one Rarotonga Police guy there (the rest were selling driver's licenses to the tourists) who had an earphone, trying to look very official - except it wasn't attached to anything!
I ran into the Governor General while she was looking at local handicrafts in what would be the Rarotonga Hadassah Bazaar. I actually got her to pose for two pictures for me. Imagine trying to get Adrienne Clarkson, (our Governor General) to pose for pics. She'd charge me a hundred bucks a photo!
I spent rest of the day sitting around the deck shooting the breeze with folks I'd met and reading. I decided to take one final look for presents. I visited all the same tacky stores I'd visited at least twice before. I finally decided I had to get something for the kids. After an hour I was about to leave when I spotted some nice looking hats (2 for 35.00) I grabbed four and figured I had the presents covered. I should have looked at them more carefully, because when I got home and gave one to Elan, it sat on his head like a yarmulke! I bought 4 children's hats! I guess I can take them back next time I go!
Finally it was time to head to the airport - again. This time it was open and there was an Aloha plane on the ground.

Check in was novel there. First of all there is no computers at the check-in desk - and there's only ONE of those. My check in was accompanied by much head scratching, looking in all sorts of lists and numerous trips to the corner office for consultations. After a scant 20 minutes I had my ticket and was heading to security when the clerk chased me down. I had left my passport!

My luggage was thoroughly checked by Rarotonga security. Like what was I going to do? Hijack the plane and crash it into a grass hut on Aitataki? My Palm Pilot mystified them. Evidentially they'd never seen one before.
"What does it do?" the security guy asked?
I explained to him all the marvelous things it could do.
"Can't you just use a pad and paper for most of that?" He asked.
I confided I generally use a pad and paper most of the time too. But having one was a great conversation starter.
A short 3 hours later (it took them that long to check in the 40 people on the flight) we were in the air to Honolulu. Everybody had his or her own row to sleep in.
Once we landed in Honolulu the adrenalin started running again. Would I get on the rest of the way home? I was traveling on American Thanksgiving Sunday - the busiest travel day of the year. I cleared American Customs and had to drag my bags about a block to the Aloha terminal. Once I got there I went to the ticket wicket and, imitating my friend Larry, did my best to shmooze the ticket agent. I must have done a great job, because she gave me a ticket and told me to go to the gate and check there about availability. She also circled the highest security alert on my ticket, and when I went to go through security I was politely taken aside by two security people and given a thorough, and I mean thorough checking. (Incidentally my shoes have been x-rayed so many times on this trip that they glow in the dark). However, there were four empty seats and I did get on.
Getting through customs back in Vancouver was a bit dodgy, as I had forgotten about the little piece of smoked Marlin I had in my luggage. I kept noticing the signs warning me of a $400.00 fine for undeclared foodstuff. Luckily I wasn't checked and my contraband marlin and me re-entered Canada safe and sound.
I guess I've done it all during this trip - except get home. It was very hot and humid there the last few days, so even Vancouver rain was inviting – at least for a day or so. Now that it's all over, people ask me if I'd change anything if I had it to do over again. You know what? I don't think I'd change a thing.
So where to next?? I’m thinking maybe Guam and Saipan.
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Why The Cook Islands? Why Me?

I never really intended to take this trip. I got cornered into it. Just like I managed to actually paint myself into a corner when I was about 13 (painting the patio at my folks home).

My daughter works for a Canadian Airline: Westjet – a great airline. One of the perks of having a child work for an airline is that the parents have travel privileges - not only on Westjet but on certain “sister” airlines. The downside is that you have to travel standby. Other people’s luggage has more priority than you do.

I happened to mention to my friends and co-workers about my good fortune. The conversations usually went:

“So I could travel almost anywhere for next to nothing.”

“So why don’t you?”

“I could if I wanted to.”

“So why don’t you?”

and so on. This worked until two years until my daughter mentioned she might not always be working for the airline, and if I was planning to ever use the privileges I’d better get on with it.

Suddenly, the corner I was painting myself into got smaller. Any excuse I found for not going was quickly dismissed.

“I’m needed at work.”

“We can work without you. It will be quicker and quieter without you around.”

“What if I get trapped and can’t get home?”

“We’ll take up a collection.”

Finally I gave in. I was thinking of going to Hawaii on Aloha airlines, and checking their Website I saw they also went to the Cook Islands. That sounded a lot more exotic than Hawaii. Besides, I’d always wanted to go the South Sea Islands.

However the thought of traveling alone, and knowing not a soul where I would be going was truly terrifying. I’m sure I’d be like Mr. Bean on Vacation: All by myself on the beach muttering incoherently to myself.

Then I had a great idea. I work in TV. I noticed on the Cook Island Web Site that there was a TV station on Rarotonga. I emailed the station saying that I work in TV and would love to see how they produce television in the Cook Islands. I was thrilled when I got an email a few hours later from George Pitt who not only owned the TV station in Rarotonga but the one radio and newspaper as well. He’d be thrilled to meet me. Not only that he had a new motel that he’d give me a special rate for.

I always wanted to go deep-sea fishing, so I tried to book a trip online. The fishing charter company I chose answered. The woman, Sharon, was from Squamish, B.C. just up the road as it were from where I live in Richmond, B.C.. Her husband and her didn’t own the boat anymore, but would arrange a charter for me and even have me over for dinner! At this point things were looking up.

It was going to be a great trip. So suddenly from not knowing a soul, I had two new friends, a fishing trip, a dinner invitation and a cheap place to stay. What could possibly go wrong?