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The Misadventures of a Comedy Writers first trip alone to the far reaches of the South Pacific

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Stuck in Paradise



I went by the neighbours today, and saw they were building a big bandstand for the wedding. I confirmed that I wouldn’t be able to stay for the event and shortly after saw her two sons dragging a huge squealing big by the back legs to the kitchen and big black pot. The pig was looking at me rather accusingly – like maybe Dave Billman was right, and the pig was 2nd choice for the main course since I wouldn’t be available. They do their own butchering there – a lost art in the suburbs of Vancouver. Maybe they’ll give a night school course in it.
Hands up all those planning the big welcome at the airport. Put them down. Like Yogi Bera said, "It ain't over till it's over". I fully expected to maybe be stuck in Honolulu, but I'm stuck in Rarotonga!”
I arrived back from Aitataki around 8:00pm last night, and waited at the Airport for the midnight check in. I loved Aitataki, people actually made a special trip to the airport to see me off! (Not like in the opening scene of Raider’s of the Lost Ark!) When I arrived back in Rarotonga the airport was TOTALLY closed! Around midnight someone came and said: "Oh, there's no Aloha flight tonight. The plane didn't come in. 2nd time in two weeks! Be another one in three days – maybe.”
So there I was, stuck at the airport at 1:00am. Eventually after many phone calls they found me somewhere to stay (I have to pay because I'm on a staff ticket).
I called the head guy at Rarotonga Air that handles Aloha and assures me I'll get as far as Honolulu - after that, who knows? The flight on Sunday looks full to Vancouver. And of course, the plane may not come in at all. He didn’t sound to pleased about being awakened at one in the morning
I decided rather than hyperventilate I'd make the best of the situation. It would be three more days till the next plane came in - if it came in. I'd been booked into the Paradise Inn by the guy at Rarotonga Air. He said it was a nice place and good value for the money. Since I was traveling "staff" and had less status than other people's luggage, I'd have to pay my own way.
The place names in Rarotonga seem to be in direct contradiction to what they actually are. Take the Paradise Inn for example. It's very old but clean and close to town and the owners are friendly and the price is reasonable considering I don't know how long I'm going to be here!
Once I realized I couldn't really expect the type of motel I was use to in Canada, especially for only $70.00NZ, I realized it had a lot of charm. I especially liked the big common lounge that opened out onto a sundeck. One of the nice thing about the less expensive places is you meet people who have checked in to stay 4 or 5 weeks or longer.
I'm only a five-minute walk to town, and so I don't think I'm going to bother with a moped, motorcycle, or car. I consider I've had a long run of luck with driving here, and don't want to push it.
I spent the rest of Thursday exploring my new digs and went into town to check things out - I carefully avoided the Avis lot - in case they had an APB out on me regarding the left side mirror which I had sort of wedged back into position with a stick.
I walked to the travel bureau in town and asked them to check on the Aloha Flight on Sunday.
"It's Full,” the travel agent said.
Break out the brown paper bag again - begin Hyperventilating. Am I ever going to get out of this hellhole????? Don't they know my daughter is a bigwig at Westjet? Can't they see I'm wearing the Westjet t-shirt? Do they know how much Westjet stock I own??? I ran back to the Paradise Inn and called the head guy at Rarotonga Air again.
"It's empty,” he said.
"But She said it was full"
"Who you going to believe? A travel agent or the guy who looks after the flight?"
"I'll tell you when I get on the plane"
Thursday night was "Island Night" at "The Staircase Bar". It was $25.00NZ and included a meal. I decided to attend.
I was placed at a table with a Newly Wed couple and a couple of guys from England who were traveling around the world. One of them was a want-to-be accountant and the other was a postman who bore an uncanny resemblance to Uncle Fester of the Adam's Family. Now here's my question? Where do two guys like that get money to go around the world?
I learned a few things that night that I'll pass along. "Island Dancers" are a franchise operation. They all look alike sound alike and act alike. Once you've seen one, you've seen them all. If there are variations between the different groups it's beyond me. The other thing that hit home was I was "like the oldest guy in the room!" They were congratulating folks on 18 years of marriage (I've been married 30 I'm old enough to be their parents!). As soon as the dancing mercifully ended I asked for my bill and walker and left.
I'm going to spend most of my time for the next couple of days on the deck in front of the motel with a book, and maybe even take a dive tomorrow. Might as well make the best of my extra days in Paradise.

Went scuba diving today. It was an interesting experience. I couldn't quite get the buoyancy thing right. Either I was floating on the surface like a cork, or was scraping my belly on the coral. Don't think scuba is my thing. Sorry Elan, prefer to sit in the rowboat with the beer while YOU dive.
If I'm not home in a week, take up a collection for a ticket!!!
I'll email tomorrow or Saturday.
Jeff

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Why The Cook Islands? Why Me?

I never really intended to take this trip. I got cornered into it. Just like I managed to actually paint myself into a corner when I was about 13 (painting the patio at my folks home).

My daughter works for a Canadian Airline: Westjet – a great airline. One of the perks of having a child work for an airline is that the parents have travel privileges - not only on Westjet but on certain “sister” airlines. The downside is that you have to travel standby. Other people’s luggage has more priority than you do.

I happened to mention to my friends and co-workers about my good fortune. The conversations usually went:

“So I could travel almost anywhere for next to nothing.”

“So why don’t you?”

“I could if I wanted to.”

“So why don’t you?”

and so on. This worked until two years until my daughter mentioned she might not always be working for the airline, and if I was planning to ever use the privileges I’d better get on with it.

Suddenly, the corner I was painting myself into got smaller. Any excuse I found for not going was quickly dismissed.

“I’m needed at work.”

“We can work without you. It will be quicker and quieter without you around.”

“What if I get trapped and can’t get home?”

“We’ll take up a collection.”

Finally I gave in. I was thinking of going to Hawaii on Aloha airlines, and checking their Website I saw they also went to the Cook Islands. That sounded a lot more exotic than Hawaii. Besides, I’d always wanted to go the South Sea Islands.

However the thought of traveling alone, and knowing not a soul where I would be going was truly terrifying. I’m sure I’d be like Mr. Bean on Vacation: All by myself on the beach muttering incoherently to myself.

Then I had a great idea. I work in TV. I noticed on the Cook Island Web Site that there was a TV station on Rarotonga. I emailed the station saying that I work in TV and would love to see how they produce television in the Cook Islands. I was thrilled when I got an email a few hours later from George Pitt who not only owned the TV station in Rarotonga but the one radio and newspaper as well. He’d be thrilled to meet me. Not only that he had a new motel that he’d give me a special rate for.

I always wanted to go deep-sea fishing, so I tried to book a trip online. The fishing charter company I chose answered. The woman, Sharon, was from Squamish, B.C. just up the road as it were from where I live in Richmond, B.C.. Her husband and her didn’t own the boat anymore, but would arrange a charter for me and even have me over for dinner! At this point things were looking up.

It was going to be a great trip. So suddenly from not knowing a soul, I had two new friends, a fishing trip, a dinner invitation and a cheap place to stay. What could possibly go wrong?